01/04/2026
Drakelow Strategic Food Reserves Revealed as Iran War Continues
Check the date, April Fools 😉🤫😂
As Trump’s war with Iran drags on and global security and supply chains are threatened, Drakelow has been contacted by the MOD for new construction of underground food reserves.
Since America first ‘obliterated’ (like totally obliterated) Irans nuclear enrichment plans in June 2025 (before they dug them up and got their nuclear weapons program back to the ‘within 2 weeks’ schedule), The Ministry of Defence got in touch to request the use of Drakelow to store important food reserves.
DEFRA had seen our already mighty supply of temperature controlled wine, using ‘state-of-the-art’ air conditioning and dehumidification and asked if we could step in and help them out.
We had a little meeting but the answer was yes, we’d be happy to help.
The question we had was, where were they going to store and what they were going to store?
And since 2025, we have been working with Government contractors to mine a new section of Drakelow.
It adds a further 200,000 sqft of underground space that runs from an access road off Adit B, down into the rock and it actually sits beneath our floor.
As Sandstone is relatively easy to mine, contractors have been working throughout the months and weeks and have disguised the removal of earth sent out in empty wine lorries.
We now have the 2nd largest Cheese and Water Biscuit stores in the World to go with our already well established wine storage on ground level.
It is such a concern, they have actually started production of crackers inside (or should I say, under) Drakelow, bringing back our original use of a Shadow Factory in time of War.
The government have also awarded us with a new Code Name of: GROMIT
The walls have been cement lined to 10 feet and should survive the intercontinental ballistic missile recently revealed by the Iranian Army (or a rogue blue on blue missile from Trumpton).
We can now bring you exclusive images of the new store which have 24 hour SAS guards and snipers within the woodland above.
