05/29/2026
When Granne said she wanted a poboy
She was dreamin’ of erstas, ya know
She wanted da footlong wit everyting
We drove to Bucktown to eat at R&O
After a few minutes and a couple of beers
Our table was ready and clean
We walked ourselves over to da table
Our waitress was named Sweet Irene
Irene could not have been nicer
She had more tattoos than she had teeth
Her apron covered her enormous bosom
I didn’t want to see what was dere underneath
She said, “Ok, dawlins, whatcha pleasure
But lemme telya da specials first.”
We ordered a couple more beers
Hoping to quench our New Orleans thirst
Irene suggested we steer clear of da erstas
“Erstas will sperl if ya berl ‘em in erl
Da roast beef, dressed wit da debris
Will make a strippa’s pasties twirl.”
But Granne still wanted da erstas
She said, “I been cravin’ dem all day and night!”
I ordered da roast beef wit da debris
Irene just winked, and den replied, “dat’s rite!”
We both took big gulps of our beers
And den, we surveyed across da room
Half da people in da joint waved at momma
Like some Mardi Gras queen, one would assume
We polished off da basket of crackers
About da time da poboys decided to arrive
Granne quickly devoured her entire plate
Then into da cheese fries she did a deep dive
After polishin’ off all da cheese fries
And devouring a large slice of rum cake
Granne let out the most grotesque burp
A sound only a drunk sailor could make
Granne den pushed away from da table
And asked Sweet Irene to bring us da bill
Granne looked as if she swallowed an alligator
She sat for a moment, all quiet and still
Then all of a sudden, she blurted out loud
“Let’s order somadem desserts to go…”
I said “Granne, you eat like an elephant!”
She looked at my stomach and replied “Well, you should know!”
And then we both started laughing
We agreed dat da food here was great
Sweet Irene’s service was most perfect
R&O is our every Friday lunchtime date
So, day next time you visit New Orleans
And you want poboys for you and your girl
Go to R&O and ask for Sweet Irene
Remember, “Erstas will sperl if ya berl ‘em in erl.”
© 2026 Jeffrey Pipes Guice
