30/05/2026
Museum Assistant waited anxiously for the phone to ring. After much persuasion, they had allowed Super Squirrel out on his own. It was the annual retired mascot conference, and no humans were allowed. He had pleaded, and he had begged, until eventually Museum Assistant had put his spare supersuit into an old night safe wallet, with a toothbrush, and a large packet of nuts.
“Where is the conference, Soops? Glasgow? Perth?”
“Lerwick, bye!” shouted Super Squirrel, shooting out the door before Museum Assistant could say ‘Shetland’.
When the phone did eventually ring, Museum Assistant could barely hear Super Squirrel.
“It’s kicking off with Tony the Tiger and Basil Brush, there’ll be a murder at this rate! Then we’ll have to get those two detectives to come and sort it all out and unravel the complexities of rural life. What was that show called again?”
“Shetland, Super Squirrel? Like the place you are right now?”
“I was thinking of Miami Vice, but close enough,” said Super Squirrel.
“How’s the conference going?”
“Great! You get to meet all sort of media types at these things. The key note speakers are the Singing Mice from Bagpuss, with a presentation called ‘Fix it, Mend it, Make like it Like New, New New; sustainability and ecology in animation’ After that there was a live set from Alberto Frog and his Amazing Animal Band, and a milkshake buffet: strawberry, banana and chocolate flavours available. Today is a fam trip to the wildlife park!”
“On Shetland?” asked Museum Assistant curiously.
“They have 300 yards of concealed camels, 3 zebra crossings 10 cattle grids and several snaking roads. I can’t wait!”
“Watch out for the cat’s eyes then, that’ll blow your mind?”
“Eurgh, poor cats” said Super Squirrel.
“Do you think I can buy any of those in the gift shop?”
“I hope not” muttered Museum Assistant.
