08/13/2017
Where do I begin? Life, or people, are a lot like connect the dots. We all get into a comfortable style of thinking, speaking and acting. This comfort has to be loosely defined because we do not agree on what should and should not make others comfortable. I am in uncomfortable situations regarding people and I am in wonderfully comfortable situations with other people and then there are situations where I am neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. Everyday we are being told what to think, feel and believe about an infinite number of things that concern people. Everyday these things are understood differently because of our levels of experience, our ability to trust and our faith in ourselves and others.
Stepping out of our comfort zones is always inspiring even if painful and regretful! Although I do not have regrets because when I had them they held me down and held me back as they controlled me deconstructively. I embraced those things in the spirit of which they were done and I learned then I empowered myself with the knowledge although some knowledge should not exist at all. No matter what I think as such knowledge does exist and I have a choice to embrace it and use it constructively or to embrace it and use it deconstructively. Once circumstances are in place and you are a part of the circumstances you have no choice but to embrace those circumstances. How you embrace them is where your choices begin. It is with that thought that I want to share a story with you about a greedy, sexist, overbearing, controlling man. He hurts people as he lives his life chasing the American dollar. He is a Serbian man, trained in the special forces of his home country. He resides in the town of Hertford NC and he runs the Hertford Bargain Center, Mike Lubicich, is his Americanized name. Some of you have encountered his ego and others have been hurt by it. Rule number 1, do not get in between Mike and his money. Rule number 2 and onward is rule number 1.
Mike boasts of the many people he has killed for his home country. He has threatened to kill those he ends up being unable to control. He is in his mid 70’s and he says he will not live in prison for long so he has no worries about killing others that get in his way. He likes to intimidate people and it likely worked well once upon a time and now he just looks pitiful. It can make you feel sorry for him as he carries himself like a king before an empty court that he does not realize is empty.
We met him in his store a few years ago. We would talk about his country, antiques, the old ways, his inability to run his store as he once did. Yes, we offered to help him. I, being a photographer, took thousands of photos of his merchandise and he paid me nothing because he would change his mind. These items he would sell and give me a commission for never got listed but they were sold and I received nothing. He did ask me to take half of his appliance store for a studio. I accepted and then fought him for the space he promised me. I, and others, realized he wanted someone at that store for his appliances and he did not want to pay anyone. I did get my space but it wasn’t long after that I learned he wasn’t paying the rent. I was paying the utilities and he was paying the rent but the landlord confirmed he hadn’t received rent in months. Someone else wanted that store for their business and he got it. I moved out as soon as the craziness started and I never looked back.
Several months later Mike calls me and wants me to photograph his inventory in his new auction house. He wants me to describe the items and post them on the web. He also wants me to record what sells top who and how much. He then tells me he will pay me 10.00 an hour. He acknowledged his taking advantage of me before and the fact that I won’t let him do it again. I knew Mike’s quirks, his ego, his selfishness. I also knew how pitiful he is as he still sees himself as some powerful Serbian soldier. I was happy he acknowledged that I was not going to let him pull that percentage commission on me. I accepted the job and he needed me to attend some class about using an auction program, I won’t name the program as it has nothing to do with this. I met the auctioneer at the class and things took a turn as I was not going to be given access to the program as the auctioneer, Robert, let it be known that he was worried I would get a virus on his computer. I said I needed access and I sat down with Mike and explained to him why I needed access to that program. Mike does not understand computers or technology and I tried several times to get him to understand, my husband even tried to get him to understand it but Mike did not tell Robert to give me access to the program.
I was learning about Robert as I photographed the inventory and he told me how he knew Mike from old auction days and how badly Mike ran the old auction house into the ground with his reserves and ending auctions too soon when he wasn’t getting the bids he wanted for the items being auctioned off. Robert made it clear to Mike that he was in charge and there would be no reserves and Mike was not allowed to attend the auctions. Uh oh, another controlling ego.
A door was allegedly found propped open at the auction house and Robert asked about Kevin, the guy who moves things for Mike. Kevin is a good guy as best as I know. He is on probation for a sexual offense involving a minor but he was not the offender but one who did not prevent the assault. He was a medic in the army. He will likely work for Mike until Mike dies and then he will seek another job that has no future and will not afford him to live outside of his mom’s place. Robert believes that Kevin propped the door open intending on coming back that night to rob the place. Robert wrote a note and left it on the door. The next day it was gone and Robert is sure Kevin got it. I don’t think the door was propped open but for the convenience of justifying why Robert did not want me to have a key to the place. Mike was paying me to wait for Robert to arrive to the auction house to let me in and he was never on time. 30 minutes late, 2.5 hours late, Mike coming to let me in. I finally got a key but it was painful. I am still fighting for access to the program as I seek Mike’s approval for my photos and descriptions and am building a newspaper ad based on his description. Robert also informs me that he doesn’t want the program on my computer because he doesn’t want it on one that is used for the web access.
So, I am to access a computer program but I can’t use Robert’s computers because I might get a virus on it. I can’t use my computer because I use it to access the web. I turn to Mike and ask him why I am there as it is very clear that I am not wanted there. Mike disagrees with me and talks to Robert who then tells me that his wife Laurie needs to know that I can be trusted. I don’t care if they trust me. I am not out to prove myself worthy of their trust. I have a job to do and that is all I am interested in. Once my job is done they can have it. Mike tells me that Robert said he didn’t understand why I feel like I do.
All of my work is done and all that is left is to access the program. I have informed Mike that the way Robert and Laurie say I did, using excel, was all that was needed and they could upload it. I told them all that it was not possible until; I knew the format of the program so that I could type the formulas into excel. NONE of them knew what I was talking about. It is around this time that Laurie is realizing she is not the computer geek she brags of being. She does not like that I know more than she does. So now, this has become a competition. I am mad because I knew I was going to have to do everything all over again as none of them were concerned about the work I had to do. They were too concerned about controlling everyone and everything.
It was like Mike saying, Darlene come paint my ceiling. Okay, as I grab his ladder and he then says no you can’t use my ladder you might break it. Okay, so I go get my own ladder and he says no, you can’t use that ladder as it might mess up my floor. I can’t use their computers with the program on it because I might get a virus. I can’t use my own computer because I use it.
Finally, I am given access to one of their computers and they could not stand it. I spent 9 hours redoing everything they had said I had to do in excel in order to simply upload it to their program. I made 5 calls to the program customer service to learn about the formatting as I redid everything. I was not happy and Mike knew it but he did not care. He just cared that the information was in place to make him some money. I realized then that he had no intentions of paying me. As he did not have my back.
Laurie scrutinized everything I had done, and I had Mike’s approval to list it, and she sat down changing it. Robert informed me that I could not be the only one to know how to use the program and had to show them. I kept quiet as I thought, you have not allowed me to learn anything and now you are accusing me of keeping information from you. Back to painting the ceiling and now that I am figuring it out I am using some super-secret method, sheesh, talk about paranoia! All the while Laurie could not tolerate my knowing more about computers than her. I needed to upload the info to auctionzip and she feverishly held onto the computer as she could not let me do my job. After an hour of watching her meltdown I walked out. I was calling Mike as the doors closed behind me.
Mike was not at all concerned about the hell I had been through as he asked about the key. Where was the key to the auction house.
My husband and I drive down to the bargain center a few days later and Mike is with his landlord. He says he will call me. He calls me a few days later to meet him and then he has to cancel. I injured my knee when he calls me again and my husband talks to him. Mike does not want to meet Steve. Mike does not want Steve involved in this. This made Steve want to be with me when we met. I had given Mike my hours, the last time I had seen him. I had logged 49.5 hours. As I counted the time I spent waiting to be let in as well as the time I spent redoing everything. Mike knew I was going to charge him for it but he also knew he wasn’t going to pay me for it. The hours did not have the hours I spent the prior night building his ad, nor the 5 hours I spent in hell before walking out. Mike wasn’t going to pay me so he didn’t care about those hours.
Mike, Robert and Laurie used my photographs and descriptions without my consent and without buying the rights to them when they held their first auction in July. I am sure they feel entitled to them. They likely still have them listed on their pages. Hertford Bargain Center and R & L Auctions.
On 8/12/17 Steve and I go back to the Hertford Bargain Center and Kevin gets a tad huffy as he has been ordered by Mike not to speak to us or let us in the store, or more likely me. Mike tells Kevin to calm down and he does an about face from standing sentry to being entertaining. Mike tells him that can wait too. Then he takes control of me. He gives me a check for a third of what I worked and he reduced the rate from 10.00 to 8.00. He tells me I should have done this, this and this. He is clueless when I point out that I did all of those things and then some. He denies it only to have Steve tell him I sure did and when that didn’t work Steve told Mike. To which Mike then tells me he did not like me texting him those things. Mike is no longer pitiful but pathetic. Steve says let’s leave and as we head to the door I pause and tell him I can’t take Mikes money. Steve says I should and I say no… I turn around and I give the check back to Mike telling him he needed the money more than I did and then I walked out with my head held high. Steve says the look on Mike’s face is one he will keep of Mike from here on out. I never looked back and do not know how Mike looked but I suspect he looked like the pitifully wounded puppy I saw him as until I realized how pathetic he really is.
Mike had told me, a few times, how he disliked my independence and that women were not to be in a position of power and decision making and he was not used to me in that light.
As he made his last-ditch effort to control me… I was being forced to accept things on his terms. I had another choice as I walked out of there and that was to be in control of him and his sexist greed. Once circumstances are in place and you are a part of the circumstances you have no choice but to embrace those circumstances. How you embrace them is where your choices begin. It is with that thought that I end this story.
