02/12/2026
Every other year, I mark my birthday by painting a self-portrait. It's somehow always the most challenging painting I make, no matter how many I've done. Sitting with myself long enough to decide how I want to be seen by the world requires a kind of honesty that can't be rushed.
I believe art is one of the few ways we can pause time, make a moment stand still. These self-portraits are my way of doing that, taking inventory, holding still long enough to listen.
In 2024, I was invited into one of the most beautiful homes I've ever seen, filled with an extraordinary art collection. Standing in the dining room with my wife, a close friend, and the owner, I spoke out loud about a goal, one day painting in Broken Bow.
This week, to celebrate my 45th birthday, my wife rented us a cabin there, and yesterday I painted this.
I begin these portraits the night of the 10th and work until they're finished, usually sometime on the 11th. Two years ago when I did my last self portrait, I pushed myself to paint two, and it took everything out of me. This year, I returned to just one, curious what it would reveal.
As a figurative artist, there is no subject more intimidating than myself. A self-portrait asks who you are now, what you carry, and what you're still becoming.
Now, at 45, sitting at the kitchen table in this cabin and looking at the finished work, 1 am grateful for everything that shaped me, everything that broke me, and everything that carried me here.
Measured Against Myself
16in X 16in
Oil on canvas
Available
